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Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: Because it saw the salad dressing! 
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Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything. 
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Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? A: They woke up. 
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Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? A: “Supplies!” 
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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole in one! 
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Q: What did the grape say when it got stepped on? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine. 
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Q: Why don’t oysters share their pearls? A: Because they’re shellfish. 
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Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? A: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. 
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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because it was feeling crumbly! 
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Q: Why did the frog call his insurance company? A: He had a jumped transmission.