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Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
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Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything.
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Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park?
A: They woke up.
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Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A: “Supplies!”
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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!
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Q: What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
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Q: Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
A: Because they’re shellfish.
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Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
A: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: Because it was feeling crumbly!
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Q: Why did the frog call his insurance company?
A: He had a jumped transmission.