Welcome
Each day contains multiple jokes right now so that we could get our content back up. We’re hoping to eventually have each joke as an individual post, with tags which would be more similar to our original site.
Q: Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle
A: There are too many cheetahs!
Q: How do you know if a dog has a good sense of humor
A: It laughs at your jokes!
Q: What do you call a cat that likes to eat fruits and vegetables
A: A veggie-meow-tarian!
Q: Why did the dog go to school
A: To get a higher bark education!
Q: What did one cat say to the other when they saw a mouse running by
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May 26th, 2023
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park?
A: They woke up.
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A: “Supplies!”
Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!
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March 14, 2012
A rural farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.
He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house.
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March 13, 2012
A little girl and her mother were out and about.
Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, “Mommy, How old are you?”
The mother responded, “Honey, women don’t talk about their age. You’ll learn this as you get older.”
The girl then asked, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?”
Her mother responded again, “That’s another thing women don’t talk about. You’ll learn this, too, as you grow up.
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March 12, 2012
Patient: Doctor, I can’t stop singing “Delilah” and “The Green Green Grass of Home”. What is wrong with me?
Doctor: I believe you have what is known as Tom Jones Syndrome.
Patient: Tom Jones Syndrome? My God, is that rare?
Doctor: It’s not unusual.
A piece of string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, “We don’t serve pieces of string here.” So the string walks outside, ties himself in a knot, and messes up his hair.
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March 11, 2012
A man was going to the grocery store one day, when all of a sudden, an attractive looking woman walks up and says to him, “Hey, I know you. You’re the father of one of my kids. Do you remember me?”
The man is worried, and then he said, “Um… I think so. Were you the hooker who came to my friend’s bachelor party last year, and then everybody got drunk and played truth or dare, and they dared me to have sex with you while wearing your underwear as a necktie?
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March 10, 2012
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks.
The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people, “What are these guys in the big suits doing?”
One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon.
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March 09, 2012
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hunters are out in the woods and one of them is taking a piss on a tree when a snake bites him on the penis.
By the time they get to a phone the bite victim is near death. His friend calls a doctor in the nearby town and the doctor says, “He’ll die before I get there unless you get the poison out.
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March 8, 2012
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
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March 7, 2012
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
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