March 6, 2012

 Posted on March 6, 2012

A guy was on vacation in Mexico and he went to see the bullfights. When it was over he went to a nearby restaurant. The waiter recited the menu and then said, “Since today there was a bullfight, we also have fresh testicles on the menu if you’d like to try them.” The guy was always up for something new so he ordered them. They arrived and they were absolutely delicious; tender, flavorful, and unlike anything he’d ever eaten. [Read More]

March 5, 2012

 Posted on March 5, 2012

A pirate walks into a bar with an enormous ship’s wheel attached to his groin. He orders a grog, and as the bartender pours it he says, “Cap’’n - forgive me - but what’s with the wheel?” The pirate replies, “Arrrrr - it’s drivin’ me nuts!” There was a new bartender in town. One night, a man ran into the bar and screamed, “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, BIG JAKE IS COMIN’! [Read More]

March 4, 2012

 Posted on March 4, 2012

This guy goes into a chemist (drug-store) for some Viagra. “Can I get it over the counter?”, he asked. “You can if you take three”, said the chemist (pharmacist). On the chest of a barmaid at Yale… Were tattooed the prices of ale. And on her behind, For the sake of the blind, Was the same information in Braile. Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Don’t cry its just a joke. [Read More]

March 3, 2012

 Posted on March 3, 2012

A guy comes home from work and finds his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. “What’s wrong, honey?” “I’m leaving you! I just found out you’’re a pedophile!!!” “Pedophile?!? Why, that’s a pretty big word for a ten-year old…” Q: What happens to a politician when he takes viagra? A: He gets taller. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, “Sixty two. [Read More]

March 2, 2012

 Posted on March 2, 2012

Two cannibals are eating a clown when one cannibal says to the other, “Hey, does this taste funny to you?” A deaf man is working for the Mafia and has been making their cash deliveries for them. He’s been skimming some money from the envelopes for himself and ends up with $100,000. Eventually they catch on, so the angry Mafia boss goes to the deaf man’s house with a sign language interpreter in tow. [Read More]

March 1, 2012

 Posted on March 1, 2012

Knock knock. Who’s there? Control freak…now you say, “Control freak who?” I remember the last thing my Grandma said to me before she died, ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’ When I go I hope to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did. Not screaming and wetting myself like the passengers in the car with him. Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side. [Read More]

February 29, 2012

 Posted on February 29, 2012

The Comic Sans font walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here.” A construction worker brings his dog to work every day, and at noon tucks a 5 dollar bill under the dog’s collar. The dog trots off to the local bar, where the bartender takes the fiver and gives the dog a sandwich in a paper bag which the dog brings back to the work site for his owner. [Read More]

February 28, 2012

 Posted on February 28, 2012

A man with a German Shepherd dog goes into a bar and sits down at the counter. The bartender says, “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The man says, “But this is a Seeing Eye dog!” “Well, OK, then I guess it can stay.” After a while, the man and the German Shepherd get up to leave. As they’re going out the door, another man with a Chihuahua is coming in. [Read More]

February 27, 2012

 Posted on February 27, 2012

A clown and a young boy walk into a dark forest. The boy says to the clown, “I’m scared.” The clown says, “You’re scared? I’m the one that’s got to walk back out of here alone…” A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the madame, “Is this a union house? [Read More]

February 26, 2012

 Posted on February 26, 2012

A guy walks into a restaurant. He asks the waiter, “How do you prepare the chicken?” The waiter says, “We sit it down and say, ‘It doesn’t look good - you’re probably not going to make it.’” A dog walks into a telegraph office and says, “I want to send a telegraph.” The guy says, “OK, shoot.” Then the dog says, “Woof woof woof woof woof. Woof woof woof woof. [Read More]